Leaf Lost

Joanne Page
“Gravity” in the sequence Codex in Flight
in
Persuasion for a Mathematician

Today the subway stalled between Davisville and St. Clair, affording a clear view of the cemetery. My grade five teacher used to take us to the graveyard for the trees. Over a hundred kinds, she said. My parents are buried there. the only stone I visit says Lost. Nothing more.

This passage resonates for me for it is on a walking tour of Mount Pleasant Cemetery that I first saw a majestic katsura. I go less now to visit since there is now in our backyard a tall specimen.

katsura tree

Its show of spring bronze, summer green and fall gold offers opportunity to get lost in a different sort of way.

And so for day 1662
02.07.2011

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Litanies of Lust

Allen Ginsberg “Please Master” (1968) collected in Angels of the Lyre edited by Winston Leyland. This is the beginning:

Please master can I touch your cheek
please master can I kneel at your feet
please master can I loosen your blue pants
please master can I gaze at your golden haired belly
please master can I gently take down your shorts
please maser can I have your thighs bare to my eyes
[…]

And it goes on repeating the “please master” anaphora but it varies it and it gets more and more explicit.

Jeffrey Beam doesn’t vary the beginning of any of the lines to “dickEssence” and carries the variations on a theme through a marking of race. From the middle:

[…]
My dick worshipped by a coco gallant tattooed with my name & mimosa charm
My dick idolized by a pitch-black amigo tattooed with my name & reckless charm
My dick venerated by a coffee-colored cupid tattooed with my name & seductive charm
My dick revered by a sweet caffelatte amoroso tattooed with my name & boisterous charm
My dick cajoled by a cappuccino darling tattooed with my name & holy charms
[…]

To be found in The Beautiful Tendons: Uncollected Queer Poems 1969-2007.

Canadian anaphora … Patrick Lane, two poems face to face in The Bare Plum of Winter Rain

“CUNT”

I take from your cunt a cherry blossom at dawn.
I take from your cunt a cat in a cradle.
I take from your cunt sweet basil, rosemary, thyme.
I take from your cunt willow and pine.
[…]

“VULVA”

Vulva, you are the song of the little boat.
You are the moon remembering.

Vulva, you are the flutter of many soft petals.
You are the wavering, the unfolding.

[…]

And so for day 1661
01.07.2011

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Not the Precursor

E.B. White “Here is New York”

The subtlest change in New York is something people don’t speak much about but that is in everyone’s mind. The city, for the first time in its long history, is destructible. A single flight of planes no bigger than a wedge of geese can quickly end this island fantasy, burn the towers, crumble the bridges, turn the underground passages into lethal chambers, cremate the millions. The intimation of mortality is part of New York now: in the sound of jets overhead, in the black headlines of the latest edition.

All over the World Wide Web are comments on the prescience of this passage from a 1948 essay. These retrospective prophet seekers lack an historical imagination (and the willpower to do a simple search on planes, buildings and popular culture). For it is evident that the informing event is the crash of 1945 into the Empire State Building. And there’s a 1977 book by Arthur Weingarten The Sky is Falling.

And so for day 1660
30.06.2011

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The Mechanism Called Teat

Often fascinating in sci-fi is the description of technology. In this case a nutrient dispenser:

Tears-crying was for face-liquid. It was useless, or rather useful only as emotional expression. It was a waste product … (and she had been right in the first guess about twin eyes!) … and then the further realization that the great size she had at first attributed to the bottle was relative only to the babe. The thing was a reasonably-sized, sensibly-shaped storage container for the nutrient fluid the babe and child called milk; and it was furthermore provided with a mechanism at one end designed to be sucked upon.

Judith Merril “Homecalling” in Daughters of Earth.

And so for day 1659
29.06.2011

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Slip Slippage

Harryette Mullen. Recyclopedia: Trimmings, S*PeRM**K*T, and Muse & Drudge

At one point in Trimmings there is a set of pages with on the left a passage dealing with slips which culminates in Freudian ones and on the right is a passage that enacts slippage of a dreamwork if not Freudian sort.


[…] Without permission, slips out the door. a name adores a Freudian slip. Night moon star sun down gown. Night moan stir sin dawn gown.

Daybreak breaks the night via the slightest of vowel shifts.

And so for day 1658
28.06.2011

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Demonic Irony

Ironically demonic.

Of course that isn’t the way I described his actions to myself at the time. Nobody uses phrases like “a man possessed” any more. “Possessed” by what? There are no demons in the Twentieth Century, we all realize that. There are no demons, no devils, no evil spirits. We live in an enlightened age, in a sane, matter-of-fact world of gas chambers, human incineration plants, wholesale massacres, scientific torture devices and hydrogen bombs. But everything has a perfectly logical explanation, and no man’s cruelty or inhumanity to his fellows is based on demoniac possession.

Robert Bloch. “The Hungry Eye” (1959) reprinted in Time Untamed (1967).

And so for day 1657
27.06.2011

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Hairdresser and Mother

Robin Becker. “Salon”. Domain of Perfect Affection.

These lines come at the end of a poem detailing the regular visits to the salon for manicure and shampoo and cut. The voice we are to take is that of the lesbian daughter.

Ennobled by his gaze, she accepts
her diminishment, she who knows herself
his favorite. In their cryptic language
they confide and converse, his hands busy
in her hair, her hands quiet in her lap.
Barrel-chested, Italian, a lover of opera,
he husbands his money and his lover, Ethan;
only with him may she discuss my lover and me,
and in this way intimacy takes the shape
of the afternoon she passes in the salon,
in the domain of perfect affection.

To husband: use resources economically; conserve.

Pomade: a scented ointment applied to the hair or scalp.

And so for day 1656
26.06.2011

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Both and a Choice of Three

Joanne Page. Watermarks. “Mark You” in the sequence “A Brief History of Snow”.

to cold. Their language lives. Last year they made
two snow words into silajua pigalavja meaning
ozone layer. This year both are in grave danger.

Both? Words and ozone? Ozone and snow? Either way one of the three disappears. Alerting us to linked dangers environmental and linguistic.

And so for day 1655
25.06.2011

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Star Gazing Across Generations

You may never have slept in a tent. May never have looked up to the night sky. But you can enter into the imagination of poet who imagines a boy who does.

she laughs, her red hair
ripples as it did

when she was ten and wild as her eldest
awake in his sleeping bag

looking up at his grandmother’s
sky, imagining the salamanders
he’ll catch tomorrow.

These are the concluding lines from Robin Becker‘s “Our Best Selves” which is dedicated to the memory of Miriam Goodman and is collected in Tiger Heron and which calls to mind a line from Joanne Page in Persuasion for a Mathematician: the audible slow burn of stars left you rapt, you will say

And so for day 1654
24.06.2011

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What’s it gonna take to feel proud?

Queer as Folk – season finale – beyond boy finds boy – it’s about a man expressing his principles, almost losing his principles and being aided in finding integrity again.

What? It’s not about marriage? “We don’t need rings or vows to express our love.”

Brian our stalwart protagonist is indeed dancing solo at the end but he is not alone. He is in a packed club. He remains unpaired but not unloved.

We are stepping out of the diegetic. The song carries us over into the credit sequence and beyond. [The song Proud will go on to serve others as an anthem for Olympic bids among others.] Heather Small (Peter Presta Final Mix) sends us off with resonant lyrics.

I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I’ve left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can’t stop me now
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It’s never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

The party isn’t over. It’s migrated.

It’s an ending that reminds me of the commentary offered by the epistolary frame to Andrew Holleran’s Dancer from the Dance.

We don’t have to do anything with our lives. As long as you are alive, there’s an end to it. I feel like a child who’s been awakened from his sleep and taken downstairs in someone’s arms to see the party and the guests. Who knows how long it will last, who knows when that considerate adult will send you back to bed and life will once more be that poignant band of light beneath the door, beyond which all the voices, laughter, and happiness lie? No, darling, mourn no longer for Malone. He knew very well how gorgeous life is—that was the light in him that you, and I, and all the queens fell in love with. Go out dancing tonight, my dear, and go home with someone, and if the love doesn’t last beyond the morning, then know I love you.

And why make this an exclusively queer thing? After all, anyone can dance to Proud.

Here is Hemingway on Paris, a place of the mind as vital as the Babylon of Queer as Folk.

There is never any ending to Paris and the memory of each person who has lived in it differs from that of any other. We always returned to it no matter who we were or how it was changed or with what difficulties, or ease, it could be reached. Paris was always worth it and you received return for whatever you brought to it. But this is how Paris was in the early days when we were very poor and very happy.

From A Moveable Feast.

And so Brian dancing becomes an icon of that place in the mind where we can go find the freedom to become and simply to be.

And so for day 1653
23.06.2011

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